Mr. Kelso's Krazy Keyboard

The Legend of Karl Kelso

Not many people are aware that when Albert Einstein was in college, he shared a room with another student, Karl Kelso. Both young men were brilliant and ahead of their time. But while Einstein went on to become famous for his theories of Special and General Relativity, Kelso completely disappeared and was never heard from again.

According to Einstein’s diary, Kelso believed that the fundamental building blocks of reality were vibrations. Much to Einstein’s amusement, Kelso maintained the tiny vibrations existed all by themselves, without there being anything itself that was doing the vibrating. As Einstein noted in his diary, this was like postulating the existence of singing without there being any singer. Or glowing without there being anything responsible for the glow.

Despite the ridicule of his roommate, Kelso continued to work out the mathematics of his theory that every complex object in the physical universe was a collection of tiny vibrations of all sorts of different frequencies. Kelso speculated that if the right frequencies were produced, one might be able to see the tiny vibrations and possibly manipulate them. Indeed, one might even be able to open a portal to an entirely different dimension!

Although both of these young men were enrolled at ETH , the prestigious Swiss Polytechnic in Zurich, neither of them spent much time in the classroom. But while Einstein was daydreaming about what it would be like to look into a mirror while traveling at the speed of light, Kelso was busy back in their room, building various strange devices in an attempt to verify his theories. Shortly before he disappeared, using his landladys old, broken down piano, he constructed what has come to be known as his “Krazy Keyboard”.

Einstein reports that on the night of February 7th, 1900, he went back to his room only to find that Kelso was gone. At first Einstein feared that Kelso had been abducted, since all of his personal belongings were still in their apartment, including Kelso’s clothing, his luggage, and the strange keyboard. Einstein filed a “Missing Persons” report with the local police, but Kelsos whereabouts remained a mystery. After graduation, Einstein moved out of the apartment but left behind Kelso’s property in the care of his landlady, in case Kelso should one day return. It is not known what happened to Kelso’s belongings once they came into the landladys possession. When she died, the only thing left in her house connected to Kelso was a notebook.

Mr. Kelso’s Krazy Keyboard for the iPad has been recreated from the original blueprints in Kelsos notebook, with these features:

(1) A piano keyboard that produces some of the craziest sounds you’ve ever heard. When you play the keyboard, the music you produce is something completely out of this world. (Just be careful that it doesn’t take you out of this world!)

(2) Record and Play controls, which allow you to record your masterpieces and play them back.

(3) Open and Save controls, which allow you to preserve your musical compositions for later playback.

(4) Allows you to play any song from your iTunes library and simultaneously accompany the song on your Krazy Keyboard. Don’t you think it would be nice to add a burp every now and then to Barbra Streisand’s “The Way We Were?” Or perhaps you’d like to add the sound of thunder to Katy Perry’s “Roar”?

(5) The Krazy Keyboard is completely customizable. Make any key produce whatever sound you want.

Please use responsibly. And if you should happen to fall into an alternate dimension while playing a tune, dont say we didnt warn you!